You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2012.


On roles and responsibilities:

1. If you have a two income household, all household chores and child care are shared equally between husband and wife. Period.

2. If you have a one income household, you are employing a division of labor with specialization of tasks. He works (hard) to support the family. You work (equally hard) to keep the house clean and children cared for.

3. School is the same as work and is treated as such. It better enables one to fulfill one’s duties whether at home or at work.

On the importance of a clean and tidy home:

1. Your home can be a place where the spirit dwells, not just makes occasional appearances.

2. It’s healthy.

3. It shows you are a good steward and are grateful for the blessings that Heavenly Father has given you. Conversely, if you do not show respect for the material goods with which He has blessed you, He will take note and stop giving you stuff you cannot manage or appreciate. You will get what you deserve: junk.

On cleaning your home:

1. When you have children, you must sweep after every meal.

2. You must sweep your kitchen every day. Leaving dirt and crumbs on the floor to get tracked around the house is slovenly and spreads the mess.

3. You must mop and vacuum several times a week. Your family tracks more dirt into your home than you realize. It gets ground into carpets and furniture. Clean it up before it can permanently damage your floors and upholstery. Also sweep doorsteps. That’s where the dirt gets tracked in.

4. Wipe off your kitchen counters habitually throughout the day. Do not leave spills and crumbs sitting there.

5. Look at your cabinets, walls, door jams and window sills. If there is something there other than paint or stain, it doesn’t belong. Clean it off. Every day.

6. If you spill something on the stove, clean it. Don’t let it sit. It will get harder to remove with heat and time.

7. Run the dishwasher every night and empty it before going to bed or first thing in the morning so you have a place to put breakfast dishes.

8. Don’t let dishes build up in the sink all day.

9. There is nothing more gross than a dirty bathroom. If that means you must clean daily, so be it.

10. Your car is your home on wheels.

11. Everything takes longer with kids. You must plan sufficient time to clean and tidy up before moving on to a new activity or going out so you don’t leave messes behind.

On kids and stuff:

1. Only get and keep quality toys. Some of the best toys are simple, like blocks and balls. Don’t load up on cheap crap that breaks easily.

2. If something breaks, remove it from sight and fix it or throw it out. Keeping around broken stuff encourages mistreatment of remaining belongings. (See number 3 of On the importance of a clean and tidy home.)

3. Don’t let your kids have too many clothes while they are young. It makes it tempting to put off doing the laundry.

4. A place for everything, and everything in its place. Do not bring things into your house for which you do not or can not make a “home”. You will only create clutter. (See number 1 of On the importance of a clean and tidy home.)

5. If you bring something home for which you do not have room, you must get rid of something to make room.

6. When organizing stuff, group like things together.

7. Containerize everything.

8. Do not let flat surfaces (floors, tables, counters, pianos, dressers, chairs) become dumping grounds. (See number 4 above.)


Keeping a home and caring for children is hard physical labor. Rewards seem to be fleeting when your children are young, but are ultimately enduring.


Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God…

~D & C 88: 119


My husband likes to surf. And he likes to fish. He loves to go on road trips. He would love to take a road trip on a Harley some day. He likes to explore new destinations. He is not one to sit in a hotel room and pass the day watching reruns on cable tv.

He surfs during his layovers, a deserving perk after 9 long hours in the cockpit. He rarely fishes because he is always working around the house. He dreams of a Harley, but college tuition and fixing a 70’s ranch style home has been the priority so far. He does explore new destinations, but those are generally work destinations. My husband works. A lot.

For our entire marriage, he has either worked and gone to school, put in extra time racking up flight hours in the Air Force, or worked more than one job at a time. He made a living during college working as a process server. Long days and nights serving summons and subpoenas all over Southern California. He continued to serve papers during vacations in Los Angeles while in the Air Force and as a flight engineer for American Airlines based in LA. At one point he simultaneously worked as an airline pilot, an Air Force Reserve pilot and as a writer and consultant for Air, Inc.

He did all of that so that I could stay home and raise our children.

He pinches pennies while on layovers. While other pilots go out for expensive dinners, Rob finds local dives with good, cheap food. He often brown bags it. He tweaks his monthly schedule to get the maximum number of flight hours possible. After experiencing pay cuts at AA, the most lucrative flying his seniority would allow him to hold was out of JFK flying to Europe. That tacked extra days onto his trips, so he had fewer days off. It also meant staying overnight in NYC several times a month. Rather than dilute his earnings by paying for hotel rooms or crash pads, he camped out in the pilot operations offices. Literally. He had an inflatable mattress, pillows and blankets stored at his “home away from home.” He did that for three long years before he was able to return to DFW.

Most pilots would be too proud to live like that. Those pilots are now committing suicide (really) because they can’t live on the reduced pay/retirement that is part and parcel of life at a bankrupt carrier.

He has often had to work on Sundays. He doesn’t like to. And if he can, he will avoid it. When he can’t, he limits his activities while on his layover. (No surfing!) He will find a local ward and attend sacrament meeting if he can. He does what is possible to keep the Sabbath in his heart.

Half of his flights are all-nighters. It has permanently affected his sleeping patterns. It has aged him.

After 9/11 we had to make adjustments to our budget. The loss of income was pretty dramatic. But despite that, I was able to continue home schooling our children. They continued to take choir and piano lessons and we could spend summers at the beach in California every year. When it was time for college, we paid what we could. We were blessed. In the midst of a severe economic downturn, we have eliminated our debts and provided for our family’s needs. We have been blessed because I have a husband who works hard and does WHATEVER is necessary to make ends meet.

There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated–And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

~D & C 130: 20-21

He has NEVER complained.

He deserves that Harley.